06 July 2009

Dealing with death

was just talking with D, about the loss of Bobbie, our cat. We both do not feel well – we miss him and we are in shock because of his violent death (by car, he was hit by a car). D said he wished Bobbie was still here and I realise he is making himself sick by wishing. Wishing for something that isn’t. Bobbie is gone and wont come back. We will not touch him again but by imagining so. And that’s not real.

I am observing myself. The longing to make Bobbie ‘real’ ‘touchable’ again, making these photographic pictures of Bobbie in my head. So for a moment it is like he is here.

And projecting the images of Bobbie dying over and over again – to force myself to realize he IS gone. So I am in my head, dealing with him gone. What is HERE?


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish, long, desire for Bobbie to be with us again, touchable.

I experience loss. There is a space that is empty now, the space that Bobbie used to occupy.

I feel a need to know where he is now. An idea, picture to soothen the experience of loss. Preferably a picture of him being happy lol

D asked me where Bobbie is now. I do not know. Maybe he is reincarnated as a human, maybe he is not. I do not know if he is happy, sad or nothing. I have no answers, and that is ok. I do not want to tell D things just to make him feel more comfortable, though I am tempted because he is so sad.


What is reality? This is reality. Bobbie is gone (well, we do not see/hear/feel him=our experience of ‘he is gone’) The physical manifestation of Bobbie is lying burried in our backgarden. Bobbie as Bobbie is gone – as the cat we knew.




Bobbie, he died this Friday afternoon – a car drove over his little head.

He lived for another 10 minutes, eyes wide open, had some convulsions and then he passed away.

We put him in a little grave in our backgarden.


I miss him, his scent – I loved the way he smelled. The touch of his pelt, his little paws on the stairs…

05 July 2009


Understand that, due to Children’s Vocabulary – (Children’s Vocabulary from the perspective of ‘Being Able to Express in Words and Voice how they Experience themselves within in relation to what they See and Observe without’) – not being Developed efficiently, we that are able to do so – are able to express in words and voice how we experience ourselves within, what we see and observe – Must be the Voice for them/of them Equal and One.

This is done as Follows:
While hearing the Child’s perspective of the Event that had taken-place in their world – once the Child’s done giving perspective of the event and all participants involved, the following must be taken into consideration with regards to implementing a Practical-Solution in the Child’s World and for all other Children who have already been through such experience or could go through such experiences:

  • 1. The ‘Bully’
  • 2. The School, the Teachers and Education-System
  • 3. The being affected by the Bullying

Understand that, due to Children’s position in this world-system, they have no ‘Voice’ to have the ability to effectively direct their world into and as a practical-solution that consider everything and all that is involved practically, equal and one.
Thus, this is where we that do have a ‘Voice’ can Speak-Up and direct the situation into and as a practical-solution that consider everything and all that is involved equal and one.
So, let’s walk through each Point that is required to be considered to direct the situation into and as a practical-solution that consider all that is involved :


1. The ‘Bully’


Now – the Child as Bully must Understand Consequence – that there are consequences for deliberate actions taken out on another that manifest harm within another, from the perspective of the Bully actually realizing that all actions has consequence/implication/effect in this World that we exist within, together.
So – I’d suggest to the School to implement a ‘Consequence-Measures’ – clearly expressing in words to all children together that Bullying is unacceptable and not allowed within School, that the Children must consider how they’d ‘feel’ if they were the ones being Bullied – and to thus not do unto another what you’d not want to experience yourself/be done unto you. If this is explained in practical-terms for Children – they’ll understand.
Now – the Words have been placed.

Then – the ‘Manifested-Consequence’ must be placed – stating to the Children that the School has now Spoken to why Bullying is not accepted and allowed – and if a Child still continues to Bully after the statement was made: ‘This is the Consequences they Will face’ – because there’s no excuse for the Child to continue after it was clearly explained that Bullying is unacceptable.
The School must then decide the appropriate manifested-consequence the Child as continuous bullying-actions must/will face.
I’d suggest to the School to inform all Parents that if they receive more than three accounts of a Child bullying another – the Child will be expelled from School.
So – this is how one take into consideration the Bully in assisting and supporting them from the perspective of realizing manifested-consequence.


2. The School, The Teachers and Education-System


If the School has no measures placed in with regards to Bullies – I’d suggest the above, and to ‘press’ on the School that Bullies must realize and face what they do to others and realize the harm it manifest in others. And that – even though they are Children = they know exactly what they’re doing – there’s no excuse = because they’re doing it, and in doing it, in that very action – they understand fully what they’re actions and doings do unto others = but they don’t consider/realize the effects – because its not shown/discussed with them effectively.

And that if the School doesn’t take definitive-measures = they’re tacitly accepting and allowing Bullying in the Schools and thus directly responsible for Bullies in the School itself – for through tacitness, they’re giving permission for Bullies to exist, within the very acceptance and allowance of not taking definitive-measures and thus responsible for the effect on all parties it has.

Understand that, the current education-system is the ‘platform-foreground’ for the development-phase of Children – and thus, I’d suggest – in assisting and supporting your child/children to manifest their Schooling-experience as ‘smoothly as possible’ without unnecessary events such as Bullying manifesting ‘emotional/feeling scars’ within their Being that they live-out only later in their lives as it manifest in their physical-beingness as suppressions that ‘come to the fore’ that they experienced in childhood but couldn’t voice.

If the School say there are no measures being implemented / that it’s between the children / that it’s the parents problem = I’d take the Child out of the School and inquire about/of other Schools that do have such measures in place with regards to Bullying. Or I’d do Home-Schooling for the Child.

If none of the above is possible – I’d prepare the Child as effectively as possible to be able to stand-up within themselves, within understanding the event effectively and their experience within it through insight and understanding and how they’re able to direct the situation effectively = this I’ll discuss in the next point to come.
If there are measures in-place – inform the school of the Bully and Bullying so that the appropriate-actions can be taken for the Child as Bully to understand Manifested-Consequence accordingly.

If the Bullying continue – inform the school to specify the strictness of the measures in place as a solution for all children affected by Bullying = to so stop the existence of Bullying in the School.


3. The being affected by the Bullying


So, in assisting and supporting the Child effectively as self within their world practically – inform the School, so that if the school has bullying-measures in-place, the appropriate-action can be taken.
If there are no measures in place – suggest to the School a practical-solution.
If the School refuse to place-in measures and in spitefulness, tacitly accept and allow the continuation of Bullying through permission of its existence within not taking responsibility – take the child out of the school, inquire of/about another or do Homeschooling.

This is directing the child’s world as yourself into and as a practical-solution.
Now, to assist and support the Child as you equal and one with regards to how to direct themselves within such events/situations, I’d suggest considering the following:

Realise that the children, both the Bully and the child being affected by the Bullying is ‘playing-out’ their Parents’ shit that manifested into and as their Children, that they’re Children must now experience/go through that manifest in the Child’s World.
So, the Parent or the one the Child confided within – cannot Blame the Bully – nor have any reaction to/towards the situation – for if any Blame/Reaction is experienced within Self = the situation cannot be directed effectively equal and one into and as a practical-solution, because it’ll be done within the light of self-interest in wanting to ‘protect the child’ from the perspective of the parent wanting to defend their ‘parent-hood status’ and prove their ‘parent-hood status’ through blaming it all on the Bully.

Not realizing that the parent through the Child is in-fact directly-responsible and thus not the Bully’s fault in their entirety – but also the parents’ responsibility for the event-manifesting, and through the parent wanting to blame the bully –is actually protecting themselves as being the actual-originating cause of it all, but want to hide it through blaming it on the Bully. In all this –the Child is not considered – only the parent wanting to defend their own self-definition as being a Parent.
Therefore, if any reactions is experienced when your child/a child come to you with regards to Bullying – I suggest self-forgiveness to diffuse self from having an opinion of the situation/experience based in self-interest – to within self-forgiveness and standing stable here – be effective in directing the situation, the child and all else that is involved equal and one.

So – with regards to the Child affected by the Bullying, I’d place-in the following guidelines:
If the child’s been Bullied, to immediately inform a Teacher of the Bully, what the Bully exactly did and to let your child know to let you (the ‘parent’) know of the Bullying that took place, who the Bully was, what the Bully did – inform the Child to describe the experience specifically from beginning to end.
The specificity of the account of the detailed-event is imperative for the parent to hear which child instigated it – so that if it was your child that was Bullied that instigated the Bullying – to understand that the Bully merely reacted to the action-taken and that they cannot blame the bully, but must understand that their actions have consequence/effect/implications – and that the consequence of their actions lead to them being bullied.

Then the parent, I’d suggest contact/communicate to the School – if possible the parents of the Child, explain the event – whether your child was the instigator or the other, hear both children’s accounts of the event – and have you, the school and the other parents place-in effective measures to have both children understand consequence in relation to the event that had taken place.

Explain to your Child not to ‘defend’ from the perspective of ‘revenge’ or ‘wanting to hurt them because they hurt you’ – but to immediately let a teacher know, then the parent so that the parent can effectively direct the situation with the children, the teachers and the parents accordingly. Because at the moment, this is the current ‘best-solution’ that can be taken to solve the situation.

Understand that, at the moment – this is the most effective practical-solution that can be taken – for if the child ‘defends’ through the justification of ‘revenge’ or ‘wanting to hurt them because they hurt you’ = the Child will in essence become the Bully that Bullied them and in turn would justify actions to/towards others within those contexts throughout their life in various different ways under the living-expression of Spitefulness.
So, instead of having your child manifest as Spitefulness – direct them within the current-design of this world, through informing a teacher and the parent immediately so that from there the necessary steps can be taken.

I’d suggest also explaining to the child that why revenge is not a solution within the design of ‘wanting to hurt them because they hurt you’ – is that then the child will be no different than the bully, and that in essence thus – the child must face the consequences of their actions of spitefulness if they defend within the experience of revenge and can thus not complain/manipulate. Thus, to rather direct the situation through not getting involved by ‘wanting to fight back’ to ‘hurt them because they hurt you’ – this is standing-up.
See what other practical-placements one can assist and support one’s child with, in considering all of the above and the child’s process individually with regards to understanding what is standing-up, what is spitefulness and also manifested-consequence.

Here’s but a perspective and suggestions to consider – assist and support self with regards to considering how self would assist and support self as the child in such situations equal and one = without reactions, opinions or self-interest existent within self, so that self can direct the situation equal and one effectively in considering the child, themselves, their process and all else that is involved.


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