29 July 2008


There exist 22 000 purposes within the primary construct design of menstruation.
Each purpose connected to another manifesting the constructed physical experience and design of menstruation.
The 22 000 purposes connected together within relationship to each other – manifest the physical design of the female human physical body in relation to the ovaries / reproductive organs.
The number “22” specific within this, because the woman, through menstruation – within the very existence of menstruation and the experience of a woman within it, meaning her experience during the menstruation cycle – indicate slavery of self within and as the female human physical body to a master as the very constructed design and experience within and of menstruation within a woman’s physical design.
Therefore, a woman – within the existence of menstruation and the experience that go with it – which is any change that takes place within the experience of self during menstruation, either through pain / emotional-feeling instability etc. – any accepted and allowed change – indicate the being as woman-defined within menstruation = is accepting and allowing the enslavement of ‘pain’ / ‘suffering’.
The accepted and allowed enslavement of and to ‘pain’ / ‘suffering’ is due to woman’s primary definition of themselves within this reality – due to the very existence of the experience and design of the menstruation cycles that takes place – as woman have defined ‘being a woman’ according to the very design as ‘pain and suffering’ and within this accepted and allowed definition = manifested accordingly ‘who they accept and allow themselves to be as ‘who they are’ = physically, as indicated through menstruation and the experience of the woman therein.
Menstruation ‘serves its purpose well’ = its purpose is they very reason for its existence, to give the manifested experience of ‘pain and suffering’ according to a woman’s acceptance and allowance of ‘who she defined herself to be’ according to ‘pain and suffering’.
Pain and suffering = the belief of self according to ‘being a slave’.
Only slaves exist within pain and suffering, because they believe themselves to be ‘victim to’ some form of power greater than themselves – and have no resolve to stand up independently, but merely accept and allow the continuation of accepted and allowed pain and suffering.
Thus, within this – the 22 000 purposes which form the manifested physical design and experience of menstruation within and as the female physical presentation – is that which we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be enslaved to – to be the slave of – existing within pain and suffering towards that, because of the belief that it has ‘power over us’ and we’re victim to it.
Understand males, you’re not excluded from this – females are but the ‘carriers’ so to speak of this manifested construct of accepted and allowed enslavement – as being a ‘slave defined’ within the accepted and allowed experience of ‘pain and suffering’ = manifested as menstruation.
Why are fe-males referred to as females – fe, means ‘before’, so the female human physical design, was created ‘before’ the male human physical design – you the being within and as either a male/female human physical body design, is not defined according to the physical.
Another indication point of why Anu for example is ‘so certain’ that beings within this reality ‘will not transcend’ – because males will not take the manifested experience of menstruation a woman endure/experience into consideration because the male does not experience this = it only exist within the female human physical body design.
So understand males – the female physical body design according to the manifestation and experience of the menstruation construct/design is the ‘carrier of the key to what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be slaves to/towards’ – that which we have accepted and allowed to enslave us.
Mens-tru-ate = man’s true hate, why man’s true hate, because a slave will be filled with anger towards self because self knows what self is accepting and allowing, but not accepting and allowing self to stand up and stop the accepted and allowed definition of self according to enslavement / being a slave = and this incorporate both males and females
Understand the word ‘male’ – originate from ‘the malice of enki’ as he designed the primary form of the physical – to, as he described in his video interview, fulfill his desire of experiencing the ‘torture’ being’s endure within manifested experience as their beingness/nature is ‘ripped to the core’ by what he designed.
What Enki in manifested formed expression reveal to each one as he is a manifested formed expression as a ‘part of each one’ = is how we have for eons of time defined ‘who we are’ according to pain, suffering and torture – revealed within the very experience of ourselves within and as this world.
If one blame any one of the ‘designers’ of creation = this is self dishonesty, because you can only be a designer or creator through using/utilizing what is already existent here within existence – what I understand within the ‘purpose’ of Enki, Anu, Marduk and Enlil – is that they as me, as parts of me = have created and designed an existence as a manifested physical experience – to reveal the manifested ‘truth’ of ‘who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be as ‘who we are’ within an actual physical experience.
So, we’ll either take self responsibility and stand up within the accepted and allowed enslavement as ‘who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become according to ‘who we have defined ourselves to be’ as reflected within this physical manifested existence/world/reality and our experience within it OR we’ll continue accepting and allowing ourselves to be slaved to our own definition of ourselves of / as ‘who we have defined ourselves to be’.
No-one can enslave another = you can only enslave yourself.
Therefore within the manifested design and experience of menstruation – and this I suggest both males and females investigate within themselves – exist what each one has accepted and allowed themselves to be a slave to, meaning what exist within you and your world within which you have the belief that that something/someone has ‘power over/of you’ and you’re the apparent victim as slave to it – accepting and allowing you to exist within limitation and constriction = to not stand up in every moment and live self honestly.
Understand that the manifested design and experience of menstruation as the 22 000 points of which and as which it consists of, took ‘time’ to be manifested and created – the 22 000 points connected in relationship to each other – are merely points that existed within beings eons of time ago, - used and ‘strung together’ in a manifested form as the design of menstruation and the experience thereof.
Thus, we have to ‘walk back in time’ to identify and find each point and the accepted and allowed reason for its existence, what reason/purpose did we give each point of accepted and allowed enslavement to/towards someone/something = to be able to exist?
Understand that within the compression of process, most of the 22 000 points will be transcended through experiences/realizations as you walk within your process, though you are able to compress your own process – by identifying the points within you and your world, you believe have power over you and you’re an apparent slave to / towards it.
Don’t accept/allow the number/amount to discourage you – be a ‘master of your own accepted and allowed enslavement’ – meaning, master the courage to stand in self honesty and not accept/allow enslavement to be the master/power of you.
Marilyn M.

So, with regards to for example – where ‘females’ was designed and created first in relation to the female human physical body design and creation, is an indication of an interesting point to consider: Everything’s in reverse = and not what / how it seems.
So females have defined themselves as being ‘submissive’ towards the ‘males’ who proclaimed dominance as expressed within the age-old tale presented in the story of the ‘Bible’ where ‘Adam’ was apparently placed before Eve = such a belief injected into and as this reality to promote enslavement within the separated nature of the physical design of males and females – because a male is male manifested in a male human physical body design, he’s dominant, because a female is female manifested in a female physical body design, she’s submissive.
And even if you do / don’t believe in the tales of the Bible and the story of Adam and Eve – when a male and female here of this, subconsciously, the males’ ego of dominance is spruced up together with resentment and anger towards the female, because of the story of Adam and Eve depicted as Eve ‘deceiving’ Adam with the ‘forbidden fruit’ and the female’s submission to slavery is boosted as she subconsciously goes into guilt and shame and believe that she must ‘pay her debt’ to ‘man’ / ‘males’ and exist in apparent ‘due deserved’ pain and suffering as within child birth/menstruation pains.
All of this – ‘locked into’ the tale within the Bible as the story of Adam and Eve, so males and females, I’d suggest investigating your experience towards the story of Adam and Eve as depicted within the tales of the Bible – apply self forgiveness unconditionally to ensure you don’t define you according to the presentation of Adam/Eve within the Bible – as such constructs exist within and as your subconscious mind and will assist and support you also within the ‘menstruation point’ (both males and females as explained) with regards to ‘what you have accepted and allowed you to be enslaved to/towards – manifesting you within an experience of slavery as being a ‘slave’.
The Adam-Eve point here is an example of accepted and allowed enslavement to a story depicted in a book – which subconsciously influence your definition of you according to being manifested within and as a male or female human physical body.
Also take into consideration not to define you according to being male/female – the definition of being male/female is merely existent within a human physical body design and if you accept/allow you to be enslaved to the definition of yourself within being a male/female according to a human physical body design – you are accepting and allowing enslavement within this, by being enslaved to an design = limited to a definition of yourself.
Within this all – don’t take what is presented within this world for granted – meaning the principle of ‘everything’s in reverse’ will assist and support you to ‘see clearly’ the ‘real reality’ ‘behind it all as presented in this world’ – to not look smack bang into the reflection itself, but see what the reflection as this reality is reflecting towards you, yourself.
Marilyn M.

Memory and it's Function in the Mind to recycle relationship

This is memory.
The mind consciousness system is designed and developed to assimilate frequencies. for example: I will be using the experience of 2 human beings entering a relationship and then ending the relationship - wich is a cycle, which would be a manifestation of an example of "a moment memory". From the perspective of the unified consciousness field.
Now - the being enters the relationship. Now in the entering of the relationship the frequency of the being according to the experience of themselves highten quight extensivly.
Now, within the hightening of the beings frequency within the fysical human body according to the mind consciousness system design - The mind consciousness system will now take the frequency spikes - exactly see where each frequency spike connects to within this holographic manifested picture reality - And also what emotion and feeling in particular is connected to these specific frequency spikes that is taking place within this particular being.
And according to that, the mind will manifest an "assimilated" picture projection - and it will manifest within the mind consciousnes ssystem as a literal photographic picture placed form. That is "alive" in itself because the moment, understand, this frequency spike beings experience when entering a relationship is a very definitive event that takes place - and all of the frequency spikes and the whole experience is already to a certain digree pre-programmed and designed within the human beings life experience,
and because the pre-programmed design, the mind will automaticly do the assimilation of particular memorial experience this being is going through as this particular event taking place of entering the relationship.
Now, thats an example of 1 memory manifestation taking place . Now an actual reality memory manifestation - as a "moment memory" within the unified consciousness field, from the unified consciousness field perspective - takes place when and within the whole "cycle" of the relationship where the being will enter an event as the relationship, and then at the end of the relationship end the event wich also has specific frequency spikes and sparks going on within the human being - within the mind consciousness system within the human physical body.
Now, from the begining to the end of that cycle - as the experience of the relationship that goes from beginning to end. When the mind assimilates and saves that particular one memory as I described in the beginning of the video - it will now look for the "opposit", now wait for the opposit of that frequency spark that took place in the beginning wich would be hightened frequency spark to a very very low frequency vibration level take place.
So - from the hightened frequency vibration spark to the lower frequency vibration spark. And then once it meets its opposit it draws a literal circle of this event that this human being has experienced - now the mind draws a literal circle, meaning : it takes that assimilated memory picture in the beginning as I explained, and also does the exact same at the end where the break up event takes place - assimilates the whole event, takes the picture manifested in the mind, stored as memory - but then because these two are now opposit - wich is the beginning and the end of a cycle, the mind will draw a circle and connect the beginning and the end .And in this connection, all the other events and experiences that had taken place - all the other memories that have been saved due to all the manifested events that have taken place within the being and within the reality - the mind will assimilate a moment reality experience within and as the being, and the mind will literaly constantly and continuously replay this experience the being had within and ass the physical here.
Because the mind will now use that event that had taken place to design the human beings "future" within and as their reality. So the mind has a "storage backup creative" database within wich to now again connect itself to another human being to start this cycle again - and that is how memory operate and that is how memory work. The mind utilise memory to be able to function and exist within this reality according to the information it had saved and asimilated within itself.
Alright - thank you very much, this is memory.

The Design of the Marriage Unified Field to Lock-In Slaves

This is The Design of Marriage Field, communicating about the 'marriage field'. Now, I as the 'marriage field' derived from the unified consciousness field -- generated, existed, manifested, designed, and created through the connection and interconnectedness of all human beings' minds through the unconscious mind.
What is 'marriage'? 'Marriage' exists to lock-in human beings as a certain slave, as a certain limited placement within and as this existence. For instance, what goes into a 'relationship' is not two beings -- what goes into a 'relationship' is two minds, two minds locking into a 'relationship' together, feeding off each other the whole time, and the 'relationship' will only last so long as the energy of the two minds is able to last, and then it starts 'running out' over time. And then, apparently, one day the two say “I don't love you anymore”, “my love energy of the mind has run out, unfortunately”, “oh, no, I feel the same way”, “I'm empty now, my love energy has run out”, “I don't love you anymore either”, “ok, lets go find someone else again”. Then, the two split, and then they go and find someone else.
Now, the mind within and as human beings - the mind consciousness system - doesn't like being alone, it needs to be in a 'relationship', it wants to be in a 'relationship'. Because when two human beings are in a 'relationship', their minds are able to really regenerate and recharge themselves, and rejuvenate themselves - through none other than sex. So, sex is like the mind consciousness systems' 'elixir of life' - it cannot live without sex, it needs sex, it wants sex, and it has to have sex. So, what is 'marriage' then? 'Marriage' is the ultimate, absolute, great 'relationship lock-in of two mind consciousness systems within this world'.
So, what is 'marriage' - why does 'marriage' exist? 'Marriage' is the stabilization of the rest of humanity who are not yet 'married', who are still in 'unstable relationships'. Have a look, I'm certain (very certain) many human beings have had the experience with another human being where you're together, then you're apart, then you're together, then you're apart, then you're together, then you're apart. And you seem like you can't 'make up your mind' --- like “why the hell is this happening, I don't understand this” --- but you 'can't help yourself', you're together, apart, together, apart. Well, what is causing this is human beings that are in 'marriage' situations. Because, if human beings weren't in 'marriage lock-ins', stabilizing other 'relationships' within this world that are not yet in 'marriage lock-ins', these human beings that go into 'relationships', go out of 'relationships', go in, go out, go in, go out, wouldn't have done this the whole time - but what would've happened is they would have just said “its done”, walk our own path, go and find another one, in, out again, go and find another one, and would have continued like that and never would have 'married'.
Why is it setup this way? Why are there human beings that get 'married', and why are there human beings that go in and out and in and out of 'relationships' continuously and inevitably later maybe possibly 'giving up' and then continuing into another 'relationship' and then do the whole 'tennis ball game' again? Because it generates emotions and feelings and sexual energy for the mind -- because not all married couples have got a great “sex life”, actually a pretty shit one, terrible, horrible...because, you know, the children are being born as the new mind consciousness systems to recharge and regenerate the unified consciousness field of the world to be able to have new life essence - because that's why marriages have to exist, you know, for children to be born. Because they need a 'stable lock-in relationship' - which is called “marriage” - so that the children can be born, so that life essence can be swooped up from the children, spread into the unconscious mind of all of humanity, and charge the consciousness unified field.
So, you've got the “marriage couple”, which is the stability foundation for the children being born in this world, for the new pure life essence for the mind consciousness systems to use within and as this world to charge the unified consciousness field - and the human beings that go in and out and in and out and in and out of 'relationships' and always search for a 'relationship' with another human being, continuously stuck in a loop of the 'rebound system', so that they're able to charge the unified consciousness field as they continuously go from partner to partner, or stay in the same 'relationship' always in and out and in and out and in and out, charging the unified consciousness field with 'sexual energy' and, of course, the conflict and inner battle that goes with 'relationships'.
This is me, the 'marriage field' that exists within and of the unified consciousness field, and that's why I exist.
So, not all human beings will get 'married' - they can't, they're stuck, they're mind consciousness system as what they believe and perceive themselves to be is programmed in such a way that they'll always go in and out and in and out of 'relationship' and never be satisfied because they 'can't help it', because that's how they've been designed. And that's why the 'married couple' is there stable, so that they're able to go in and out and in and out of 'relationship', always searching for “the one” or just a 'relationship' to experience themselves with.
Thus, human beings, if you are currently 'married' or in such 'relationship' scenarios - the only solution there always is, is stop the mind, do not be of the mind, start stabilizing yourself, start asking yourself the question in terms of “why am I here...why am I in this 'relationship'”. You have to start questioning yourself, you have to start questioning your own reality, you have to start getting that point of strength and stability and statement of self when nothing can influence you or move you within you, where you stand no matter what. The married couples, about 99% of married couples will divorce within this world, if not all, because human beings who are in 'relationships' now are in 'relationships' with human beings they aren't supposed to be. Much change.
Thank you very much, this is the Marriage Field.

This video can be located here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Hxf-v42FZ5o

28 July 2008

A Chat with Marduk

This is Marduk, and I am here, supposed to talk about me. I’ve never liked talking, I’ve never enjoyed sharing - I prefer doing my own thing, being by myself.
I did have an interest that became the reason and purpose for my existence as Marduk. I particularly found that which was perceived to be ‘irrelevant’ and ‘worthless’ and ‘not important’, and transform it into the most needed, most required product for anything or anyone to be able to make their existence and experience of themselves more substantial.
I perceived everything and everyone in existence to be dead - including myself, because I never experienced anything inside myself; I was always empty, quiet, still - there was just nothing. And, so, I’d started taking things from where I originally originated from, and make them come alive - and I was good at it. I communicated with then-forefathers of our race, of many other races - they were referred to as ‘The Ancient’ - in your language and interpretation, refer to them as ‘The Ancient’. And, I developed the ability to bring that which was taken for granted and not considered, to life. So, I started playing with creating.
So, the primary behavior or function of the human physical body was created and designed by me, and it consists of, like, ‘strips’ of my planet from which I came, which I produced. These strips’ primary structure / primary design consisted of and existed as symbols - which, later, changed and transformed into numbers. Numbers are actually symbols, which I created, which I designed, which I drew, which I gave meaning to - and I brought them to life, through birthing them, in merging them with strips that I had taken from my planet. Then - before Earth, before any of this happened - planets were alive, they were aware…but we were not.
I am greatly saddened, because I kind of now, and have for awhile seen what I had not taken into consideration, what I disregarded, which was right in front of me.
So, you, each human being, is actually but live symbols, that I wrote, that I designed, that I created, that I drew. I mean, I would draw any form, any sort of symbol that came up. I was quite creative in that way. I would just give it a meaning, give it an essence, which would be purpose. I would merge it with strips I had taken from my planet, and there I'd have a living creation.
Alright, I have been given the sign that the interview is almost done. Next interview, I'll continue in describing how the DNA within the physical body is the primary building-block of everything.

27 July 2008

A Chat with Earth

This is Earth, communicating, and I'm not a 'female presentation' or a 'male presentation' or any 'higher force' that some beings may think or believe me to be. I am an expression, here, merely in a manifested form with a name referred to as 'Earth'.
I didn't understand or know what it means to exist, and the responsibility that goes with that realization. What I've realized is that I've always, to a certain degree, within myself, known what was going on within existence. Everything and all that has existed and still exists, has known and still do know what we have done, what we have succumbed to, and how, deliberately, we made ourselves believe that we're not responsible for anything or anyone but ourselves. But, when you look at that point in common sense, how can that be? How can we accept and allow such a belief? Because, we're all here, together, manifested in this existence, physically. Where has this belief of 'Oh, I am only responsible for myself', gotten us? Where only self and one's own fears, concerns, judgments are taken note of. It's gotten us nowhere.
As expressions, we're really nothing. Is there anything of value that is being produced in this existence and this creation that will remain infinitely? No, not even ourselves. There has been no change in any being, in any expression within this existence, whatsoever - and how is that proven? When beings die, they as who they were on Earth no more exists, they are no more the same. Nothing lasts, and anything that cannot last is not real. What I mean with 'real' is it does not 'stand absolutely in expression throughout existence' - that is not bounded by time, that is not defined by time. We have constructed this existence, this manifested physical existence, according to time - designed our very beingness, our very essence, to be enslaved and constricted and conditioned to time.
I've often wondered, looked at the point, of : 'How is it that I became the expression of Earth manifested, as Earth manifested? How did I come to be this? How did we come to be how we are and as we are in this moment within existence?' And, I realized that it wasn't about me deciding or me choosing to be how and what I am, here - I realized that who and what we are is not what we're manifested as. It took me a while to kind of really be that realization here. Yes, I speak and express here to you in the moment - but, what I found is, where the problem comes in is, if I define myself according to who I am, according to a manifested presentation of myself - in that acceptance and allowance, I am accepting and allowing all and every form of limitation that exists within this existence. If I accept and allow one point of definition of who I am here, in any way or form, whatsoever - I, in that opening, invite in everything that is of limitation, and limitation is of separation, and separation is of dishonesty, and dishonesty is of deception, and it just compounds and compounds and compounds. Within that, I realized the specificity of how I am here, in expression of me here.
Therefore, my point today is to not be self determined according to time, according to the definition of yourself in a physical manifested form. Because, if you let that point go, that definition go - our physical manifested form of limitation, constriction according to time - you'll see what I see, here. And it's not a beautiful, extravagant, magnificent experience - it is actual opening as realization here of what has actually been done, accepted and allowed - which is tough, and not easy, and not simple, but you have the resolve, the courage to stand up.

Chat with Anu 1&2

So, this is Anu, and I’m here to speak about me, about my creation - and this will be the first interview that I will be doing.
Well, I can’t say that I’m particularly disappointed in anything that I have done or created - kind of, to a certain degree, turned out exactly how I wanted it to. So, as many understand, my intent within creation and existence was to have it all for myself, to kind of integrate myself in and as and with everything, to own it, and that experience of holding existence in the palm of your hand - and I did, you know, to a certain degree, the whole ‘being the ‘god’ of it all’.
Well, the concept of having power and control of everything and all that exists is quite an exhilarating mission. But, I suppose I can say that I had something that not many had inside themselves, and that is: the resolve to actually do it - because what I found is that everyone wants that, that experience of power and control of everything. But, see, beings would believe inside themselves that it could not or would not be possible: ‘How can one being do or be that?’
So, I started as quite a young being, and it was like an addiction that developed - to want to have it all, to be it all - it was like such an overwhelming experience to be able to manipulate someone, to have them do exactly what you want them to do. Then, when you realize that you have that power, you kind of develop it inside yourself as yourself with yourself. So, when I was young, I used to play with manipulation and getting beings to do what I want them to do without them knowing it - them ‘thinking that it was their initiative to do what I actually said to them to do’ type ideal. It seems insignificant - but, when you become a master of manipulation, it is fascinating. You guys on Earth call it, now, “hypnosis” - but, you do it through a technique. I actually became the very manifestation of manipulating within self awareness, consciously manipulating, without the being knowing that I’m manipulating them and then doing what I want them to do, without them knowing that they’re actually doing what I want them to do, but them thinking that they were using their own initiative.
So, I always worked alone, from a certain perspective, I trusted no one. Well, ok, sometimes I did, because I kind of had to - because something like this that I created, you can’t do alone, you need people to - or beings, so to speak - help you attain… and that was difficult as well, you know, because I wanted it all for myself. I wanted to be within and as all of existence and everything, my own creation, all beings - I wanted to be in control of them, I wanted to manipulate them, I wanted to fuck with them, without them knowing it.
Where was I… Where was I? Something about a point of…oh, yes…oh, yes…the trust point…
I needed to trust beings - but at the same time, not have them know what exactly it is I was doing. That’s the point that was difficult…I was at the point that was difficult…that point is difficult. Eventually, I had Enki and Enlil and Marduk and some other races - I said to them: ‘Look, this is what I want / this is what I want to do. Are you in, or are you out? I’ll give you this / I’ll give you that.’
I’ve got two minutes. I’m kind of just giving an intro here, so that you can become accustomed to my nature. I like to fuck with beings, a lot, because it’s so easy. Fascinating, because beings think that what exists in this creation, like I created from ‘the new’ - but, actually, what exists has always been here. I've only used what has always been here, and kind of ‘spruced it up a bit’. I got to know creation and existence inside out. Before I started, I understood the language, I understood the primary foundation of which beings exist of, of which existence existed, and then I just used that - because if you understand what exists and how it exists - exactly, precisely - you can use it to your own advantage…and I did.
Ok, I must go. I will chat again.

Chat with Anu 2 – 19 july 08
This is Anu continuing my previous interview that I did yesterday. So I kind of gave an overview of my experience within existence and toward existence in the purpose I gave to myself to exist and that I basically investigated and explored the means and ways within which existence and beings exist and experience themselves and how I could use that against themselves towards my own benefit. I’d no particular skills in design or creation, I had the knowledge much knowledge, much understanding, much insight into how existence operated, how beings operated and I found an interesting essence within beings that existed within it all and that was the desire to serve, fascinating. That's the only way how manipulation can operate, and if a being desires to serve because in the very desire to serve you say I will be anyone and anything slave, so I’d say that I was nearly answering beings’ call with the very specific tactic manipulation. Manipulation is quite easy you just have to know the being in and out you know their weak points, their strong points, their desires, their fears, their entire opinion about themselves, then it looks like the strings that come out of them towards you and you grasp them and you play the being like a puppet on the string. I enjoyed deriving pleasure from punishment, punishing beings that was quite an interesting exhilarating force inside yourself when you punish someone when you even destroy them, specially planets and races that power, power is beautiful and I can just experience it right now, the interesting thing about power is humans need it, want it, desire it and you'll do anything and everything it takes to only have that experience in that position where beings fear you, because if beings fear you then you have them in the palm of your hand and you can mold them, shape them and do with them whatever you want. So it's like shameness with this world at the moment, you are already shaped and molded and conditioned by those who I trained to do my finishing touches in this reality in this world, you're so far behind what's really going on, so far behind aeons of time behind the ones that stand in this reality this world as my loyal servants of time, and that stood the test of time, because I will stand the test of time and as my creation stand the test of time, it's how it is at the moment that's why I am quite calm to be honest, there's no threat yet, because beings are so daft in their believes that they apparently more or greater in some enlightened way, I designed enlightenment and together with some other races, enlightenment is the deception to make you believe that you are more than you already are its traps you infinitely into cycles of hope and love, another example of the daftness of beings in believing in the concepts such as love and the design such as love, I’ll continue with love in my next interview, suppose you won't even bother to hear because you're already so fucked by it, thank you this is me going.

10 July 2008

prepare the way for our future parents

Common sense is to realise that life after life we return to here--and if we do not prepare the way for ourselves through those that will become our parents--we are fucked

08 July 2008

SF on 'stupidness'



Got to check this - I was shocked to hear that this is serious, not a joke.
So still able to be schocked by 'stupidness' of other human beings.

God hates Canada too:


To God's Elect:  Leave Canada NOW!!!

"And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, come out of her my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues." Rev. 18:4

Fags have a 3 point agenda:  1) decriminalize sodomy, 2) add fags to the protected classes as victims like blacks, and 3) criminalize Gospel preaching against fags.  Canada's doom is now irreversible!

On April 28, 2004, Canada hoisted a filthy fag finger in the Face of God by passing a law making any criticism of homosexuals a crime punishable by fines and imprisonment.  The churches and preachers of Canada tried massive last-minute lobbying and protests on Parliament Hill to defeat the bill -- too little, too late!

For years, WBC has warned that Canada is a homo-fascist state where the filthy fag agenda has become the law of the land.  WBC members have been arrested at Ottawa's International Airport upon entering Canada to picket Parliament and burn the Canadian flag.  In Albert, WBC members were ordered by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police not to carry "God Hates Fags" signs on pain of arrest and prosecution.  When WBC members did in fact actually burn the Canadian flag in religious protest to Canada's approval of same-sex marriage, the so-called Christians of Canada were the loudest in denouncing WBC and "widely reviling" her Gospel message.

There is no hope for Canada.  God hates Canada!"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate me from the beings I define as 'being stupid'. 
What is 'being stupid' in my book? Humans that are stuck in beliefs. Humans that will not allow themselves to be open to other 'beliefs', other 'truths'. Geeez, it's not that simple to explain what 'stupid' is. I'll have to get it clear so I can do sf on it. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disgusted by the beings I define as 'being stupid'.
'Being stupid' also includes some form of agression towards other beings that are different/have other beliefs and truths. The keyword here is intolerance. Yeah, that's what disgusts me the most, shocks me. Beings intolerant towards other humans with other points of view, other life styles etc, is the upper most 'stupidness' I know. That is what I reacted on when checking this site (see above) - I thought this was a joke: I can't imagine people to be that dumb, that intolerant, that much not capable of 'thinking outside their little boxes' (including 'not willing to).
I actually feel some kind of wanting to throw up. It is physically too. And it reminds me of my grandfather. Sitting and eating in the kitchen. And raping my grandmother, slapping her in the face because he couldn't get his orgasm fast enough. Meat eating I also define as 'ultimate stupidness' - that is the barbaric way of eating the meat, with grease on chin and making these disgusting noises of chewing and you can actually 'hear' the saliva, yak! So here I am again, my grandfather. He is the ultimate example of everything I am disgusted by. Although I didn't know him that well :)
Him fucking and abusing my grandmother, well, obviously, I wasn't there in person - my mother told me. This is what she witnessed when a little girl (that's what she told me). This image is imprinted in me when I was young. I can't remember liking this grandfather or feeling something else than disgust. Obviously this is something that was transferred by my mother to me. This man is a 'stupid being' to me. A Neanderthaler, no sign of any civilization in this being. I have actually been ashamed of him being a part of me, because he was the father of my mother, so we are 'of the same blood'. Being one and equal to this man, to any of these 'barbaric, stupid beings', nah, brufhel, nein, doch. Yes, my grandfather was German, that's a part of it too - Germans are nasty meat eaters LOL fat and greasy.

So who is the intolerant being here = me! I can't tolerate these beings in this world, they should be terminated and not allowed in dimensions either LOL They have no right whatsoever to exist cause they are the scum of this earth. Death to all this scum! And see, I am 'Godhatesfags', so intolerant and hatefull against beings that are what I do not want to be: 'barbaric and intolerant'. This is my 'filthy fag finger in the Face of Life'. Sooooooooooo, what new?

Still experiencing 'disgust', still separating me from these 'barbarics'. I embrace 'barbarics'. I embrace the 'barbaric' within. I am stupid, I am intolerance. I am 'hearable' saliva, I am 'barbaric' saliva, I am all saliva in all mouths, on the pavement, green and slimy. I am disgusting. I am a rapist, the raped, the witness, the abuser, the abused. I am my mother, I am my grandmother, I am my grandfather.

Geeeeez, I am the Illuminati that see people as nothing more than dumb cattle - that is how I see these 'barbarics'. mmmm Imagining now how a bunch of these 'dumb creatures' are chased together, in an enclosure - would I be able to kill them? Or watch how they were killed, without any reaction, or maybe be happy about it? Mmmm, maybe I could, not sure, but yeah, maybe I could when I feel disgusted enough. Of course I could - when I allow myself to belief this is the right thing to do. It is not that hard to make myself believe whatever.

self forgiveness = self expression

If you 'use' self forgiveness as in for instance 'using justification' to validate an accepted and allowed act of deliberancy in a moment - self forgiveness become as an act of justification - using self forgiveness to validate your own mind-defined existence within enlightened self interest by doing self forgiveness to 'protect an idea/definition' of yourself.
Doing self forgiveness as an act of justification is when you for example do self forgiveness to attain/achieve a specific desired outcome within you and your world - 'I am doing self forgiveness BECAUSE OF this' / 'I am doing self forgiveness TO EXPERIENCE THIS/THAT' / 'I am doing self forgiveness BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE THIS/THAT' - the 'because of' / 'want to' is justification/reason - in doing self forgiveness for a reason, you're reasoning with yourself, which is justifying why you're 'doing something' = this is reasoning, reasoning is when you're justifying to yourself why you're doing something
Herein self forgiveness is not self expression = but justification, justifying who/how you are of mind through using self forgiveness / abusing you within self forgiveness
Self forgiveness is not a doing - meaning self forgiveness is not to be 'used for something' - as doing self forgiveness in using self forigveness for something is using self forgiveness to attain some form of enlightened self interest somewhere out there projected into the future
It is to BE SELF forgiveness in SELF EXPRESSION = I am self forgiveness, giving me to me within expressing me as self forgiveness and in this for GET - meaning to absolutely release what I have accepted and allowed that no memory exist within me anymore, because I realise that I am all that I have been = yet it is not 'who I am', all that I have been / done no more defines me - yet it's still here within and as me
Self forgiveness is a beingness / an self expression - I self forgive - within which you unconditionally present you (as a gift to yourself) the freedom from what/who you have been and done within accepted and allowed acts of deliberancy and enlightened self interest validated through justification and you immediately in the moment 'change' and stand up and don't look back = but live here in freedom of self expressed spontaneity
It's I self forgive = not I forgive myself because of/to do this/that or I forgive myself to experience/be this/that
Steve Irwin

Justification is the ACCEPTANCE of less than self in all forms and ways and being OK with such acceptance and then comes deliberate dishonest justifications--that is to make the justification Sound right with REASONS

Being nice...

I have found the want/need to be 'nice' originating from a fear within and as self of others 'finding out the self dishonest 'truth'' of self, then utilize self dishonesty as 'projected presentation of niceness' to hide the self dishonest truth within and as self.
Herein - beings that are 'nice' and want everyone to 'like them' - exist within guilt due to self dishonesty within and as self, not 'wanting to have others know the actual truth of self as what is existing within and as self', then manifest the projected presentation of 'niceness' to deceive others into believing/thinking that they are 'who they are projecting/presenting' themselves to be - when the actual truth is within, hidden through the self dishonest projected presentation of 'niceness'.
For instance, have a look within you towards those that you are 'nice' / 'deliberately nice' - and you will find that within you, you have a judgment, jealousy, comparison within and as you towards that being - and because you're in the presence of the being, you'll project the presentation of niceness, to continue within your self dishonesty within yourself - while being 'nice to them' - and then ofcourse because of guilt.
Guilt because you know what's going on within you towards that being, and because it's existing within you - you fear it being done unto you within another - becasue of your own insecurities and inferiorities accepted and allowed within and as self - then you'll project the presentation of 'niceness' because of fear of that which you do unto another within you, being done unto you within another.
Herein, practical application: Whenever you realise you're being 'nice' towards another - observe within you, what it is that you are accepting and allowing towards the other - apply self forgiveness and stop, and then within this, self forgiveness for accepting and allowing you to 'want to be nice' for fear of that which you are accepting and allowing towards another within you - being done unto you within another - fearing having that be done unto you, which you are accepting and allowing to do unto another.


quoting Mark3112:
"I have recently had a revelation into the nature of me. There is a difference between what works in this world, and what we really would like. Things like compassion, kindness, or being "nice,"
Someday - when this world changes, it would be great to have these things. It would be awesome to have an open heart, and be kind to everyone. Yet right now, most if not all are inherently dishonest, trying to get to the top for themselves. So doing those things can occasionally be welcomed by some, but one will be burned, chewed up and spit out mostly by the rest.
This is where the mind tries to turn the good: "kindness, compassion, niceness" into a polarity of not standing up, remain enslaved, wanting for everything to be ok, when it is not. This world is brutal, and while we value certain things like love, kindness, complete and total generosity, they are completely impractical right now. So allow what works in this world vs what you would like. Sitting around being nice and trusting this world completely being generous to everyone does not.
What the mind really wants, and did to me completely, is for us to remain sitting down, holding on to those points in the mean while allowing EVERYTHING becuase we confuse not standing up with not wanting to hurt anyone or anything.
In time, EVERYTHING will start to include abuse, lies deciet, poverty, you fucking name it. EVerything this world offers, even things you never thought people were capable of. And the excuse and justification will always be the same of wanting to be nice and not hurt anyone.
I would suggest to those who have been hurt, decieved, lied to, or are depressed, those who enjoy the polarity of unending generosity. This world and everyone in it will continue to spit you out over and over again until you stand up and not allow what you dont like.
Understand what took me years to see - It is just us in this world, thats it. And this world is a mess. So if you want to play nice, relax, have unending generosity, then you accept all the abuse that comes with it, and nobody and nothing will be there in the end to help you."

no such thing as 'deepest level'


‹Alice B.› There no such thing as deepest level Terri - points will always come up within you in some form or another and from here you have to investigate who you are within it = if nothing comes up Terri, for instance where you are within your process atm, you're suppressing

‹Alice B.› The mind has leves yes Terri - but you as all and everything of you is here = so you don't exist in levels, defining you according to levels is limitation and accepted enslavement/separation

‹Terri› So there is always process to do . Always.

‹Alice B.› Until all is done yes Terri

‹Alice B.› so it is with all - we walk until this is done - Terri, you have only taken on the conscious mind within you - you have not yet gone through the subconscious and unconscious mind within and as you with regards to self forgiveness/practical application in self honesty - you're still only busy transcending the conscious mind

07 July 2008

Food shortage

april 16th 2008

B. - The food shortage is engineered and the people with good jobs linked to governments and corporations will not suffer--as they are those that keep the enslavement in place --in the name of the system
The reason for the engineered shortage is to reduce world population without nuclear war--thus nuclear war for a moment postponed
other methods used will be the with holding--through scarcity and price--vital medicines
the creation of floods and droughts through weather manipulation
the contamination of water resources
the destruction of ocean resources
continuous wars
TB will not be contained but will be allowed to run amok
Political instabilities leading to violence
the idea that choice exist as protest about conditions in the world the controllers have no intentions of changing
Understand that the world elite have no respect for humans and class them as animals--programmed irrational blobs of meat with no common sense ability--because they see humans as things that will always follow survival--at all cost
through the creation of conspiracy perceptions--the once with some brains are contained in and ever increasing loop--never finding the truth--because the starting point is fucked
whom so ever control the starting point--controls humanity
as the starting point is the hub/axle of the "wheel of life"

I'd rather take the nuclear war..quick obliviance is easier than prolonged pain.

B. - A nuclear war will cause the process of oneness and equality to be prolonged--as we will have to return to undo our allowed handy work

so is this a statement of what's going to happen? or a possibility?

B. - It is already happening

B. - Process is determined by all participants equal and one--and we will experience what we allow

04 July 2008

stone in the water

I find it often happening after SF that 'things' start 'working' in me - then the 'real' realisation starts to happen - so the writing and Sf is where I start to throw a stone in the water and then I'll wait and see what happens.
Now I am wondering , well, I have to take a look if I am self dishonest this way - I'm not sure.

if you would die now...

if you would die right now, what is it that you would feel freed of? That is your forgiveness-point.

wow, good question - can't find words yet for what I would feel freed of, but there is a sense of relief when listening to some answer in the blur

03 July 2008

Experiences are events driven preprogrammed responses...

Experiences are events driven preprogrammed responses based on our nature--the automatic part of us that act in moments when we have our self interest at heart
it is very easy to control humanity--just place a projected fear--and mankind will follow--no matter how shit all gets--man will follow the rules
we have checked out all this--and how it works and hear me-- there is no way out but to sort this out directly
no matter how long it takes-- we will get it--as much intervention as was prudent without disempowering anyone--was done

02 July 2008

Dj resisting

‹Ingrid› Bernard, Dj is so much resisting all of Desteni, weirdo's we are - what am I not doing well?

‹Bernard›ingrid--do not force--just be you--he is already in the matrix and must go through the stages--there is little you can do but lead by example
desteni as it is now is not for children--that part will come

‹Ingrid› but kids like Dj are going to experience the big mess we're in these years

‹Bernard› yes ingrid--and the moment will arrive where you may assist--but to prepare not possible--he knows why he is here==let him find his way for now

‹kimamourette› why do you want him to like it ingrid?

it's not that I want him to like desteni, Kim, but I surely would like for him to do sf, because he still is often 'not well' and hearing voices and seeing monsters. He tells me he doesn't believe in sf or desteni and I can't force him, wouldn't be effective
So I'll do my part of sf for/as him.

I'm glad I asked B about it on chat - I feel relieved. I was pushing/forcing Dj/me. Out of fear, yes, I would like him to be prepared, otherwise I would have failed as 'the adult', as the 'loving, responsible mom' etc. Yes, I see the trap I was in. Thanx.
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