I have found the want/need to be 'nice' originating from a fear within and as self of others 'finding out the self dishonest 'truth'' of self, then utilize self dishonesty as 'projected presentation of niceness' to hide the self dishonest truth within and as self.
Herein - beings that are 'nice' and want everyone to 'like them' - exist within guilt due to self dishonesty within and as self, not 'wanting to have others know the actual truth of self as what is existing within and as self', then manifest the projected presentation of 'niceness' to deceive others into believing/thinking that they are 'who they are projecting/presenting' themselves to be - when the actual truth is within, hidden through the self dishonest projected presentation of 'niceness'.
For instance, have a look within you towards those that you are 'nice' / 'deliberately nice' - and you will find that within you, you have a judgment, jealousy, comparison within and as you towards that being - and because you're in the presence of the being, you'll project the presentation of niceness, to continue within your self dishonesty within yourself - while being 'nice to them' - and then ofcourse because of guilt.
Guilt because you know what's going on within you towards that being, and because it's existing within you - you fear it being done unto you within another - becasue of your own insecurities and inferiorities accepted and allowed within and as self - then you'll project the presentation of 'niceness' because of fear of that which you do unto another within you, being done unto you within another.
Herein, practical application: Whenever you realise you're being 'nice' towards another - observe within you, what it is that you are accepting and allowing towards the other - apply self forgiveness and stop, and then within this, self forgiveness for accepting and allowing you to 'want to be nice' for fear of that which you are accepting and allowing towards another within you - being done unto you within another - fearing having that be done unto you, which you are accepting and allowing to do unto another.
"I have recently had a revelation into the nature of me. There is a difference between what works in this world, and what we really would like. Things like compassion, kindness, or being "nice,"
Someday - when this world changes, it would be great to have these things. It would be awesome to have an open heart, and be kind to everyone. Yet right now, most if not all are inherently dishonest, trying to get to the top for themselves. So doing those things can occasionally be welcomed by some, but one will be burned, chewed up and spit out mostly by the rest.
This is where the mind tries to turn the good: "kindness, compassion, niceness" into a polarity of not standing up, remain enslaved, wanting for everything to be ok, when it is not. This world is brutal, and while we value certain things like love, kindness, complete and total generosity, they are completely impractical right now. So allow what works in this world vs what you would like. Sitting around being nice and trusting this world completely being generous to everyone does not.
What the mind really wants, and did to me completely, is for us to remain sitting down, holding on to those points in the mean while allowing EVERYTHING becuase we confuse not standing up with not wanting to hurt anyone or anything.
In time, EVERYTHING will start to include abuse, lies deciet, poverty, you fucking name it. EVerything this world offers, even things you never thought people were capable of. And the excuse and justification will always be the same of wanting to be nice and not hurt anyone.
I would suggest to those who have been hurt, decieved, lied to, or are depressed, those who enjoy the polarity of unending generosity. This world and everyone in it will continue to spit you out over and over again until you stand up and not allow what you dont like.
Understand what took me years to see - It is just us in this world, thats it. And this world is a mess. So if you want to play nice, relax, have unending generosity, then you accept all the abuse that comes with it, and nobody and nothing will be there in the end to help you."