09 November 2010


am noticing an increasing rage within myself. I started to notice it this summer when following what is going on Dutch politics – we had elections and this time the more ‘right winged’ parties won and are therefor allowed to form the Government. I felt this rage coming up because of their plans to economize, but merely cutting back the people that already do not have that much money to spent and well of people aren’t barely affected or even better of. Getting even more more more more ‘fair share’.

I am so immensely pissed because of the inequality of all of this/because I cannot comprehend why these people and their voters are so selfish that they want more more more money and luxury at the expense of fellow citizens that will not have even enough money anymore to buy food - yes, this is already happening here in The Netherlands – people have to go and get their food for free somewhere, charity,  food that is thrown away by stores, that nobody else  wants to buy anymore. They still have food that way, I know, these people are way better of than the starving in the rest of the world, but I can’t stand this principle, I hate it!  And now this is happening over here, where there is plenty, more than plenty. Where there is a lot of food that gets thrown away every single day… Food imported from Africa, where the farmers have barely enough to survive, we ship their harvest to Europe and then we throw it away! So unspeakably wrong… yes, I am full of rage.

So far I do not mind this rage – when I can use it to stand up.

But what I really need to look into is that I feel this rage could overwhelm me at one point. That I could easily get possessed with it. I think. So far I observed myself experiencing this rage – I could also see there is a line I could easily be tempted to cross and get violent. Thoughts of placing bombs and shootings crossed my mind. I realize this is mainly because I feel powerless at this stage.

I can even see what is happening now is a good thing – from the perspective that how bigger the gap between rich and poor gets, the more likely it is the Dutch people will eventually revolt and maybe maybe maybe be ready to work with an equal money system. So the social injustice could very well be very supportive of the implementation of the equal money system, I know. But I still feel this rage because of these people that are so totally into ‘more, more, more’ for themselves – and do not consider the rest of the world, not even people close to home, their fellow citizens.

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