The group of people I refer to as family is not that extensive – just three adults (my sisters and me) and three kids (niece, nephew and my son)
First of all: I am so much more at ease. I know I am accepted for who I am. And vice versa. So I am not on guard all the time - to prevent getting hurt, or deceived or whatever. I can speak my mind freely without fear of being ‘excommunicated’ :)
Secondly: If I need some privacy I just say so and it’s accepted. And vice versa.
Thirdly: We have a lot of fun, but we communicate our ‘worries’ also, and support each other.
Fourth: We do not expect that much of each other (although there are some points we do expect, like unconditional support when needed)
I’ve worked on the family construct and for now it is cool.
With friends these points are less simple.
Exploring my relationships with people it becomes increasingly clear to me how everything I need, want, give, expect, do, don’t, say, think and so on – is out of fear of my survival. I haven’t come across one single point that isn’t build upon that fear of survival.
When I am alone, meaning there is nobody with me, even then – my whole life is build upon and around fear of survival. And distractions to for a moment have the illusion it is not about survival. It is extensive.