For as long as I can remember I have always been a very honest girl, young woman and adult – for the major part of my life I defined myself as ‘a very honest person’.
And with ‘honest person’ I mean I would never steal or keep money or objects I found, for myself. Or when in shops I was returned too much change – I’d point it out. And really this happened quite some times to me; I’m talking big money also – like 100 euro. I was always like doing what I wanted others to do to me. People were always very grateful – but one time when I was treated like dirt and yelled at, like it was my fault (I was upset ‘of course’ and in spitefulness wished I had kept the money). I never felt comfortable with the gratitude either because I felt my behaviour was ‘normal’ and expected others to act the same.
Sounds good, doesn’t it ?!
Ok – reviewing this part in Self Honesty:
I have to admit I really did get an ego boost out of being honest because I valued myself as ‘very honest’ person – and I liked to be seen as that. So I was ‘a very honest person’ as a personality I preferred. Stepping out of this picture I can define myself as the opposite: ‘a very dishonest person’ and get an equal ego boost out of it. And get away with your money, lol.
Later on in life I learned how to tell ‘little lies’ like to not hurt feelings and stuff. I wasn’t quite ok with that but I could see that always telling exactly what I was thinking for real – was not always preferable. Why hurt someone when a ‘little lie’ is a so much nicer act? Social life became complicated however, because now I had to keep some kind of record of all my ‘little lies’ of course.
Also the point of being honest at all cost – like in cheating your partner for instance – when remaining silent prevents a lot of grief and more – when the ‘cheating’ in itself was no big deal at all? Being brutally honest at all cost is not such a virtue, I figured.
Reviewing this part in Self Honesty:
telling ‘little lies’ I do out of self interest; I do not want to be bothered by ‘others feelings that get hurt’ and I do not want to have to deal with that. I am not interested in feelings of others actually – I just want things to go my way. I’ll tell you these little lies because I do not want you to turn against me – I might need you one day.
And I do not want to feel guilty either – so I prefer to tell little lies, so my life is easier.
Not telling my partner the truth about me cheating on him – well, I did not want to lose him before I decided I wanted to get rid of him – lol – so that’s how honest I am for real.
Just two examples out of my ‘honest’ life. Being honest with myself – self honest – is so much more truthfully. All other honesty, but self honesty, is Deceit and Abuse.
Get Self Honest – and treat others like you want to be treated – in self honesty.