ok
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to percieve D as less than other people because he is my son - like I percieve me to be less than other people - in stead of facing this in myself, I have been hiding this for me and the rest of the world, so it wasn't in the open, so I didn't deal with it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad and ashamed about perceiving D to be less than other people and to feel very much like I betray D by this secretly perceiving him and myself to be less.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilt because I should have known, because I knew, this has been affecting him throughout his life and probably will, yet, I did not enough to delete this perceived inferiority in and as me because of fear and shame.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create guilt, betrayel, shame, inferiority in stead of being here, one and equal to all.
ok, so now I have not only admitted this aloud to myself in the mirror, but also put this in writing on my blog for all the world to read.
Not only perceive I myself to be less than, I also feel very much ashamed of me feeling this.
