(Self)Trust 1

What is trust? In trust is: true - in Dutch: trouw, Self trust: true to myself - no compromizing. I do not trust me - I have proven myself not to be trustworthy, in my attempts to be trustworthy to others I have betrayed myself over and over again - and I am still doing this to a certain extent. I let myself down. Inevitably I'll let others down.

Trust. Also the word 'rust' - in Dutch the word 'rust' means 'rest' - that's what I expect trust to be:to 'rest' in me.

The English 'rust' means old, immovable to me, corrroded because it hasn't been moved, touched, breathed on... That's also in the word 'trust' for me. My definition of 'trust' is old, out of date. In a way I have stopped trusting anyone or anything according to this old definition. Not entirely else I wouldn't have trusted anyone near me - they could have killed me but I've trusted them not to. Like my cat trust me to not kill him while at ease on my lap - I could easily kill it, I have the power and the strenght.

So a kind of basic trust - to not get killed or wounded. To not kill or wound.
Other than that, well, I trust others like I trust myself - not. I almost always keep in mind to not trust the other person (or animal) Sounds sad, but no, I actually prefer this above my 'old' trust in people, a kind of blind trust. I do not wish anyone harm, so I could not imagine others would mean me harm. But they did. Some of them, that is. Or maybe their primairy goal wasn't to harm me, but to protect themselves. Or being so entangled is some feeling/emotion they could not see what they were allowing.

What about those people in power? Aren't they deliberately harming others like when they send old medicine to Africa? So what is trust? Do not to others what you do not want to be done to you? I've come to the conclusion a being should only trust themselves. So that's my primairy: I trust me. I am me trust. SELF HERE is trust. Can life trust me? No. lol in fact my primairy is: I do not trust me.

Trust is to know I will not allow others to harm me - that I will stop them. I have allowed others to harm me. I just stood there and said nothing. Trust is I will not allow me to harm others - that I will stop me. I have allowed me to harm others, even deliberately. I just stood there and did it.

Trust. Survival of the fittest?

Can I be harmed? Yes, from within mind - yes. No - if 'here', when not reacting, judging,  not existing in polarity. Even then others can kill me, wound me - but can I be harmed ? My body can be harmed, yes. Would I experience it as 'harmed'?

My initial respond to Osho's articles about self trust - I will go on reading now.

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