06 March 2008

Assisting others?

Bernard putting all these emails on private forum for us to respond to...

I am so fucking tired of answering. I do not want any more. I do not want to pour out of an outside source no longer. Dont want to share knowledge anymore. Don't want to talk about things anymore.

I just want to be left 'in peace'. Period.

I've been fucked up with this for a long time:

  • wanting to help, save, assist others
  • versus
  • wanting to be left 'in peace'
So, what's wrong with this picture?
hmm, feeling lots of resistance, to look at it, why do I want to help? Why don't I want to help? fuck...

I want them to listen and not ask all these stupid questions. Just look for yourself, think for yourself, make up your own mind and then ask real questions, common sense questions like 'where can I find this' or 'how should I assist myself in this situation', just practical. Not about Anu or Marduk or other shit stuff, not important at all. Do not waist my time!

I want them to listen - I want me to listen
I want to be left 'in peace' by me...
I don't want them to ask these stupid questions - I don't want to divert myself by taking all these random actions anymore
Do not waist my time - I do not want to waist my time anymore by my own stupid diversion activities/thoughts/experiences yak!

I want to sleep, hide, run away - ieks, panicking!
Feeling sick in the stomach. Fear, rush. Want to scream, bump my head, or the neighbours head

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...