I've got a big issue with the terror of human robots indifference and coldness. insensitivity. Watched these horrible animal abuse vids again this week and the images are haunting me, especially the one of the doggie skinned alive. How can anyone do such a thing without experiencing anything?! This scares me so much! I am trying to push myself through this fear because it is immobilizing me, freezing me on the spot, filled with disgust, horror, fear. I am not sure what I would experience without these reactions, that's what keeping me also from not pushing through. But most of all it is fear...
My chest is hurting, like a thousands needles are pierced, having trouble breathing, coldness in the heart area, but rest of my body is warm & sweaty, I spot shivering, not really coming through yet.
Did some forgiveness already but having trouble finding the right words, of course I must face this reaction totally - then I will find the right words. How to push myself? It is like some - some tingling in my right upper arm now - built-in defence to keep me from facing this. Must have been necessary in the past, now it has to go. thanks, for trying to keep me safe from the horror of this world, but now I must grow up and see what I am participating in.
