19 May 2008

Vanity

With me, it is the opposite - I avoid looking in mirrors in public - I do not want people to think I am vain because I judge vanity as bad :mrgreen: So I judge people looking in the mirrors as vain and superficial. hahaha What a mindfuck. And though I am less entangled by the beautyconcept, this habit of not watching my reflection in the mirrors or windows is still there. Not allowing myself, not allowing others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge looking at my reflection in windows in public as vain and superficial and do not allow myself to look freely whenever I want to or whenever I catch my reflection.
I forgive myself for not accepting and not allowing myself to enjoy my reflection freely.
I forgive myself for not accepting and not allowing myself to let others watch their reflection freely, without judging them as vain and superficial, and/or insecure people that depend on how they look for their selfconfidence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge me as a superficial being occupying myself with such superficial thoughts as judging others as superficial because of their vanity.

I do enjoy the inno'sense' of young children though when looking at themselves in a mirror.  I do allow them to enjoy it without judging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a distinction between adults and children merely because of their age.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be in and of the mind and therefore contribute to the abuse in existence in general and enslaving myself and others in the beautysystem specific. 


lol I do see where I am coming from - comparing myself to my mother - whom I judge as super superficial because of her participation in the beautysystem. And because I felt like I could never compete with her beauty, I condemned it as stupid lol And me being, of course, not stupid but intelligent, I had a weapon to defeat her with my intellect. By condemning her and her beautysystem life as stupid hahaha condemning myself at the same time to not be of the beautysystem, which means I am still veryvery much of it. And of the intellect system, so two in one - beauty versus intellect. And so I lost the war lol.
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