10 March 2011

Devil in her eyes

My Mom I feared her because of the Devil in her eyes. I was the only one to see him (I assume – never heard my sisters talking about him) He wasn’t there all the time.

I have been writing out the events I remember with the Devil – starting at age 6. I wondered if this was the first time I saw him, so I muscle communicated and tested out age 2 was the first time. However I have no recollection of the event.
It also tested this is relevant and specific. So how to access this information?
I was surfing the internet for pictures of devilish/demonic eyes – but to none of them I react – no recognition. Maybe it is the coldness, the taunting that scared me the most? I’m sure he was male though, and in a way bigger than my Mom. It scared the hell out of me that the devil was in my mom.
I’ve always thought it was my Mom I feared but after reading Hitler’s childhood story I for a moment considered I did actually witnessed demons inside of her.
But it is still likely it was my Mom herself. lol – is there a difference?
Though the thought of me witnessing actual demons in her scares me more than considering the Devil was my Mom.


Watching this picture it resonates in me – but it is still not exact. Well, never mind then. Back to muscle communication.

First I’ll see if I can picture where and when I for the first time witnessed the devil/demon in her eyes.
  • age: 2
  • when: during day time
  • where: at home, I was alone with her
  • what triggered the event? She hugged me. I made her angry by rejecting her.
A picture coming up now:
I am sitting on the floor; she is standing, bending forward to me. She picks me up, her face close to mine, her eyes piercing into mine – she shakes me quite hard. Her eyes are black and fierce.
I am scared, shocked. It hurts her shaking me that hard. Core point =  big fright because of her eyes. I cry. She throws me on the floor. Her eyes are normal again. She walks away from me.
Ok. Memory bit blurry still, but sufficient to work with.

My mother the Demon part 1
My mother the Demon part 2
My mother the Demon part 3 - Finale
The Devil in her Eyes
Saying Goodbye to my Mom

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...