Mirror outside/in: the Wall

Yeah, and then it is like talking to a 'wall': you don't get through and they assume you say all kinds of things you did not even think of yourself. Wow, then my mouth is open, perplex!

So where is my wall, where can't I get through to me?

I know I can act this way when I really do not want to be open to other possibilities, when I want to be in my comfort zone, not want to be disturbed or moving me.
Then I pretend to listen and participate but within I say 'yeah, you can talk as much as you like, I wont listen anyway, I just do it the way I want it to be done'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing from myself to act like a wall of pretence of kindliness while in truth I am not there, and participating in violent behaviour by false pretence and ignoring me and the other person both and thus separating me from the other being.
I forgive myself for not allowing and not accepting from myself to simply speak my truth of the moment, unconditionally. This can be done in a selfhonest and true way without unproper rudeness or anger.
I forgive myself for not allowing and not accepting from myself to be rude, not nice, not kind, not polite, not correct, not tolerant, not open, not acknowledging another person.
I am rude. I am intolerant. I am not nice. I am not polite. I am not correct. I am not open. I do not acknowledge another persons view or whatever.
Aaaaaaaaaah, that would be so cool to be just as nasty as I would like :) 


So it's clear I am not allowing myself to be a nasty person, selfish, rude and unbearable. That's probably why I meet so many of these persons in the world lol.