09 April 2008

Words: conflict #2

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to define myself as the mediator, because I am mediator out of fear of conflict and out of fear for loosing my safety net (consisting of people that love me, like me and wont let me down).
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a mediator not because I choose to, not because I prefer - but because that is my way of dealing with trouble and out of lacking another way to deal with conflict.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to define me as a being in need of a safety net because I cannot be trusted with me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to define me as a being that cannot be trusted unconditionally by self because of the way I am dealing with conflict - that is: to sell short myself by compromising.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act like a slip and slide - making sure I will not able to be pinned down so no opportunity for conflict will arise.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself to take care of me always and unconditionally.

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