I am watching this vid of Matti about how the ego supports. And yes, I do experience that, and I've noticed many times before, this reaction in my chest, of expectation - and what I do is immediately put some kind of armor around me so the comments or 'worse' no comments at all :) wont hurt me.
And I notice, I observe but DID NOT direct myself, did not script myself, but kept on lingering on these old habits, old creations. I did not move, I just observed, fooling myself that's good enough.
Enough of that. I will direct me. I will script me. I direct me. I move! No more 'the blue screen of death'! haha