They require parents as those that support them, that are the stability for them in this world so that they may express themselves.
And they require someone who realizes that they are actually equal to them.
In other words - your daughter is looking for someone that she knows sees her as equal to that person. That's all that children are asking for.
But what do parents do?
They go: 'I am your superior and I am your parent and that's why it is. That's why I'll do this, that's why I'll do that. Because I am your mother'.
Your daughter is not your daughter. And your mother is not your mother.
You are two beings that are in this world individually expressing themselves. If you really want to get to know your daughter as she is start giving her that freedom of expression.
But what do I mean by freedom of expression?
First start with communication. I suggest you spend more time with her. I suggest you communicate with her. Have you ever asked your daughter: 'How do you experience yourself? How do you experience this that you are doing? What do you see? What do you realize about yourself in this situation? How are you doing that? What do you find within yourself that requires more attention? What do you find within yourself that you are enjoying here? What am I able to do for you to support you in your world and what you are experiencing?
Parents don't ask questions like that. They just go: 'So how was your day, honey?'
No!
At the moment I'd say you don't know your daughter and your daughter doesn't know you at all. The only way you are going to do that is through applying a model of communication. Your daughter is hiding and suppressing herself extensively. And she is a magnificent being. And she'll bring you magnificent gifts. In terms of realizing some things about yourself that you may not have realized.
Children are here for the parents actually -
it is not the other way around.
So learn as much from your daughter as you're able to. Really speak about what she is busy doing. And really get to know her intimately. Intimacy is the key. So that you are able to to become intimate with yourself.
SR for Carol video
