Today I feel even more nauseous, have a headache too. This morning I couldn't see well, a blur, a glittering spot that prevented me from seeing what is right in front of me...Went for an (extensive) nap and woke up with this aching head. Shivering inside. Dj will be home soon from school, making lots of noises, I don't like that when having a headache :)
Got some insight from Jack last night about this nausea - it's fear of disappointing/disappointing. And I am picking it up from Dj... He is often nauseous too the last couple of weeks. It wont go away by it self, I realise now.
So where to start... Prior to this, wednesday I felt so so useless, so not of any value. I went to bed, shivering, though not crying, couldn't. If I don't define me by others, then what to define by? I do not experience me, just systemplacement and I am not that, so what the fuck!?
I do know with my mind I know, but that's knowledge, not knowing from within. I keep on blabbering, do not really want to go in it...
Ah, well, there is Dj, saved by the bell, maar niet heus :(